A pantoum to smash pandas

for an anxious nine-year-old

this infection mimics your molecules so antibodies attack your own brain

this technique attacks the immune system disguised like a lie paralyzing the victim

your own brain keeps tricking you tripping a false alarm you can’t disable

hostage to this impostor all you can do is fret over vectors and wash your hands

this technique attacks your immune system its style is a lie paralyzing the victim

stuck at the sink thinking your hair touched the toilet seat or your pants

hostage to this impostor all you do is worry about germs and wash your hands

scrub your hands until they’re red and raw and your classmates ask you why

stuck in the bathroom asking if your hair touched your pants or dipped in the toilet

following a false alarm’s direction makes as much sense as arguing with an infection

scrub your hands until they bleed and in class your unclean friends ask why

maybe you touched your pants maybe they touched the toilet but so what

to follow a false alarm’s instruction is as illogical as arguing with an infection

you can’t touch your pants your hair you don’t want to worry can’t live like this

maybe you touched your pants maybe splashed urine on them but again so what

when you touch your pants but don’t wash your hands that’s how you beat this

you can’t touch your pencils your puzzles you don’t want to worry you can’t live

you can’t do anything you just want to be happy you ask to go to the hospital

when you touch your pants but don’t wash your hands that’s how you defeat this

remind yourself you’re more than your worries they’re not more than you

you can’t do anything you just want to be yourself again to go to the hospital

tell yourself this is the last time but you said that last time you can’t help it

remember you’re bigger than your fears they’re not bigger than you

you flinch at gnats now but recall at Tikal you were first to handle a tarantula

tell yourself this is the last time did you say that last time can you help it

this infection mimics molecules making your antibodies battle your own brain

you flinch at gnats but recall Tikal where you were first to handle that tarantula

your brain’s mimic tricks you tripping a false alarm can you can we talk it down