Chapter 6 Draft Develop a Piece of Writing

The Role of the First Draft

Drafting is the stage of the writing process in which you develop a complete first version of a piece of writing. The first draft includes the ideas you brainstormed in the first step, organized into the structure or form that was chosen in the second step.

In the case of a college essay, at this stage, you will write the first draft of an essay that is composed of complete sentences arranged into complete paragraphs.

Base the first draft on the outline you created in the previous step of the writing process. First, write the body paragraphs, which contain the essential ideas of your essay. Each main idea—indicated in your outline by Roman numerals II, III, IV, and so on—becomes the topic of a separate body paragraph. Develop it with the supporting details and the subpoints of those details that you included in your outline.

After you have written the body paragraphs, you will write the introductory and concluding paragraphs.

To get more insight into the roles of the introductory paragraph, the body paragraphs, and the concluding paragraph, refer to Chapter 13 and Chapter 14.

A draft is a complete version of a piece of writing, but it is not the final version. The step in the writing process after drafting, as you may remember, is revising. During revision, you will have the opportunity to make changes to your first draft before you put the finishing touches on it during the editing and proofreading stages. A student often goes through three or four drafts (or more!) of an essay before beginning to edit and proofread. A first draft gives you a working version that you can later improve.

Strategies for Drafting

What makes the writing process so beneficial to writers is that it encourages alternatives to standard practices while motivating you to develop your best ideas. For instance, the following approaches, done alone or in combination with others, may improve your writing and help you move forward in the writing process:

• • Write out the thesis statement on a Post-it note, and keep it in sight as you draft your essay. This will help keep you on track.
• • Write a working title for your essay. This, too, will help you focus on your topic and thesis. You will revise the title later (refer to Chapter 14: Write an Effective Essay Title).
• • Begin by writing the section you know the most about. For example, you could start with the third paragraph in your outline if those ideas come easily to mind.

  Although paragraphs may vary in length, keep in mind that short paragraphs may contain insufficient support and readers may think the writing is abrupt. Long paragraphs may contain too many ideas and may lose your reader’s interest. As a guideline, write paragraphs longer than three sentences but shorter than the length of an entire double-spaced page.

• • Write one paragraph at a time and then stop. Pace yourself. As long as you complete the assignment on time, you may choose how many paragraphs you complete in one sitting. On the other hand, don’t procrastinate.
• • Take short breaks to refresh your mind, especially if you are writing a multipage report or essay. If you are impatient or cannot concentrate, take a break to let your mind rest, but do not let breaks become too long. If you spend too much time away from your essay, you may have trouble starting again. You may forget key points or lose momentum. Set a timer to limit your break, and when the time is up, return to your desk to write.
• • Be reasonable with your goals. If you decide to limit your breaks to ten minutes, stick to that goal. If you told yourself that you needed more facts for your essay, commit to finding them. Holding yourself accountable for your goals will create successful writing assignments.

In Chapter 4, we followed Mariah’s steps in developing her topic and ideas, leading to a formal outline in Chapter 5. Here Mariah begins to write a first draft of an essay about confusing digital technology choices.

Before she begins to draft the essay, Mariah reviews her notes about the purpose and audience for her essay:

Sample Notes About Purpose and Audience

• Purpose: My purpose is to inform readers about the wide variety of consumer digital technology available in stores and to explain why the specifications for these products, expressed in numbers that average consumers don’t understand, often cause bad, misinformed buying decisions.
• Audience: My audience is my instructor and members of this class. Most of them are not heavy into technology except for the usual laptops, cell phones, and MP3 players, which are not topics I’m writing about. I’ll have to be as exact and precise as I can be when I explain possible unfamiliar product specifications. At the same time, they’re more with it electronically than my grandparents’ VCR-flummoxed generation, so I won’t have to explain every last detail.

Then Mariah rereads her thesis statement and places it where she can see it as she begins writing:

Everyone wants the newest and the best digital technology, but the choices are many, and the specifications are often confusing.

Mariah also gives her essay a working title:

• Working title: Confusing Digital Technology

She knows she will revise this title later in the writing process to make it more effective (see Chapter 14: Write an Effective Essay Title), but for now, the working title will help her remain focused as she drafts her essay.

With her purpose and audience notes fresh in her mind, and her thesis statement and working title in front of her, Mariah returns to her sentence outline. Here is the portion of her outline that provides the plan for the first body paragraph:

Remember, the Roman numeral II identifies the topic sentence of the paragraph, while the capital letters indicate supporting points, and Arabic numerals label supporting details for each point.

Now Mariah expands the ideas in the outline into a body paragraph. Notice that the outline helps ensure that all the sentences in the body paragraph develop the topic sentence:

E-book readers are changing the way people read, or so e-book developers hope. The main selling point for these handheld devices, which are sort of the size of a paperback book, is that they make books easy to access and carry. Electronic versions of printed books can be downloaded online for a few bucks or directly from your cell phone. These devices can store hundreds of books in memory and, with text-to-speech features, can even read the texts. The market for e-books and e-book readers keeps expanding as a lot of companies enter it. Online and traditional booksellers have been the first to market e-book readers to the public, but computer companies, especially the ones already involved in cell phone, online music, and notepad computer technology, will also enter the market. The problem for consumers, however, is which device to choose.

Next, Mariah refers to the section indicated by Roman numeral III to write the second body paragraph.

You’ll notice that further along in the outline, there are far fewer subpoints included, which makes it a bit more of a challenge for Mariah to write the subsequent paragraphs. This could indicate that more prewriting, study, and research need to be done.

Notice that Roman numeral III from the outline becomes the second body paragraph. As you read, ask yourself how well the body paragraph meets Mariah’s stated purpose and how well it meets the needs of the audience:

Digital cameras have almost totally replaced film cameras in amateur photographers’ gadget bags. My father took hundreds of slides when his children were growing up, but he had more and more trouble getting them developed. So he decided to go modern. But what kind of camera should he buy? The small compact digital cameras could slip right in his pocket, but if he tried to print a photograph larger than an 8 × 10, the quality would be poor. When he investigated buying a single-lens reflex camera, or SLR, he discovered that they were versatile like his old film camera, also an SLR, but they were big and bulky. Then he discovered yet a third type, which combined the smaller size of the compact digital cameras with the zoom lenses available for SLRs. His first thought was to buy one of those, but then he realized he had a lot of decisions to make. How many megapixels should the camera be? Five? Ten? What is the advantage of each? Then came the size of the zoom lens. He knew that 3× was too small, but what about 25×? Could he hold a lens that long without causing camera shake? He read hundreds of photography magazines and buying guides, and he still wasn’t sure he was right.

Mariah then begins the third body paragraph, referring to Roman numeral IV from the outline:

Nothing is more confusing than choosing among televisions. It confuses lots of people who want a new high-definition digital television (HDTV) with a large screen to watch sports and movies on. You could listen to the guys in the electronics store, but word has it they know little more than you do. They want to sell you what they have in stock, not what best fits your needs. You face decisions you never had to make with the old, bulky picture-tube televisions. Screen resolution means the number of horizontal scan lines the screen can show. This resolution is often 1080p, or full HD, or 768p. The trouble is that if you have a smaller screen, 32 inches or 37 inches diagonal, you won’t be able to tell the difference with the naked eye. The 1080p televisions cost more, though, so those are what the salespeople want you to buy. They get bigger commissions. The other important decision you face as you walk around the sales floor is whether to get a plasma screen or an LCD screen. Now, here the salespeople may finally give you decent info. Plasma flat-panel television screens can be much larger in diameter than their LCD rivals. Plasma flat-panel television screens show decent blacks and can be viewed at a wider angle than current LCD screens. But be careful and tell the salesperson you have budget constraints. Large flat-panel plasma screens are much more expensive than flat-screen LCD models. Don’t buy more television than you need.

By keeping her audience, purpose, and thesis statement in mind, and by carefully following her outline, Mariah drafts the three body paragraphs of her essay.

The Importance of Tone

In Chapter 5, we introduced the importance of tone in determining the type of content you choose to include in your essay. Now as you write the first draft, be aware of tone as you begin to write sentences and paragraphs. There are many aspects to tone, and each can be represented by a continuum.

After you’ve determined the expected tone for a piece of writing, consider how that decision will affect your word choice.

For example, an informal tone would allow you to use contractions and informal words.

• Example: Sadly, the kids couldn’t put up with the construction racket.

On the other hand, a formal tone would require you to avoid contractions and use formal words.

• Example: Unfortunately, the children could not endure the construction noise.

A playful tone would allow you to use humour and irony.

• Example: To successfully break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, you will need your iPhone, a bowl of popcorn, and lots of wine.

A serious tone would require you to be sincere and avoid humour and sarcasm.

• Example: To successfully break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, you will need to carefully choose the timing and the location, and you should take the time to plan exactly what you will say, in the kindest way possible.

A subjective tone would allow you to use first-person pronouns and to include your experience and opinions.

• Example: In my experience, my employers like me because I work hard and I am responsible.

An objective tone would require you to use third-person pronouns and omit your own experience and opinions.

• Example: Employers value employees who work hard and take their responsibilities seriously.

A neutral tone would require that you do not evaluate your topic or take a side in an argument.

• Example: Mayor Findley recognizes that there are valid arguments on both sides of the debate about safe-injection sites, but further research is required before Council can make a wise policy decision.

A judgmental tone would allow you to make an assessment and choose a side.

• Example: Mayor Findley is an inept twerp who must be ejected from office immediately before his stupid policy has this city overrun with drug addicts and crime.

We will focus more on tone, word choice, and style later in the writing process: at the editing stage. If you find it distracting or stressful to focus on these matters now, put them aside until later, and instead focus on the ideas and organization, which are the primary focus of the drafting stage. Your main goal now should be to get your ideas on paper in an organized manner.

With that said, you can save yourself time later if you give some thought now to choosing wording that establishes the desired tone. That way, you’ll have fewer edits to make later. Remember to keep the tone consistent throughout each paragraph and throughout the whole essay.

Now that you’ve written a first draft and expressed your ideas in a well-organized manner, it’s time to move on to the next step: revising your essay to make it even better.

• • Use an outline to guide the development of paragraphs and the elaboration of ideas. Each main idea, indicated by a Roman numeral in your outline, becomes the topic of a new paragraph.
• • Develop each body paragraph with the supporting details and the subpoints of those details that you included in your outline.
• • Content may consist of examples, statistics, facts, anecdotes, testimonies, and observations.
• • All content must be appropriate for the audience, purpose, and tone.
• • Many students write the introductory and concluding paragraphs last, after fleshing out the body paragraphs.